Punch Drunk Wonderland

Top 10 Reasons Brandon Lloyd is a Hoser (Updated)

Updated (12/18/12)

Remember the fantasy offseason leading up to the 2012 season? The prospect of Brandon Lloyd going to the New England Patriots and their high powered offense wielded by master of the game, Tom Brady, was nothing short of mouth watering for fantasy enthusiasts looking for that sneaky position steal going into the fantasy regular season. It seemed like Lloyd was going to easily slide into that old Randy Moss role…the reliable stretch-the-field receiver that would benefit huge in the Pats offense that features catch-in-the-flat scrappers like Wes Welker and big YAC brutes like Gronkowski. It was going to be the best “under the radar” steal at the WR position of the season. It was going to be a sure thing.

Here we are 14 weeks in to the season and it’s time for fantasy football playoffs in most leagues. The Pats offense has been solid as usual, but no thanks in the least bit to Brandon Lloyd. His questionable routes and feeble hands have proven to be one of the biggest disappointments of the 2012 season.

Lets do a rundown of the Top 10 Reasons Brandon Lloyd is a Hoser as we take a look back on the season that wasn’t for the not-so-sure-thing.

10. Did you know he’s a rapper? Yeah, neither did we…. On a related note Lloyd said the following concerning what people think and say of his “music career”,

 ‘Oh, you’re doing hip-hop music? Who does he think he is, a rapper? He’s trying to be someone he’s not.’

He’s evidently as inconsistent at dropping tracks as he is at dropping passes (or catching them, rather). But hey, “Heavy” was featured in the Spike TV show, Blue Mountain State. Is that a good thing?

9. His career stats…how is someone overrated for their entire career?

8. Even renowned Pats suck up, Rodney Harrison, called Lloyd a disappointment. That’s real.

7. Week 13: 1 catch on 1 target. Winning.

6. His limited route tree. Hey Lloyd, just run a “go” and pray. That should do it.

5. The simple fact that he’s been a failure on one of the most prolific offensive teams of the last decade.

4. 74.1 total fantasy points tallied through 14 weeks and 12 starts in 2012.

3. Week 7:  1 catch for 6 yards and 4 dropped passes…enough said.

2. Lloyd has been such an uncertainty that the Pats have signed the likes of Dante Stallworth and Deion Branch during the course of the season to fill in on a roster lacking at the WR position.

1. The biggest factor of them all…he’s still Brandon Lloyd.


Yeah, I had Lloyd on my fantasy team this season. Sweet catharsis…

Updated (12/18/12): An 11th reason he’s a hoser is that he went off the week after this was originally published. That’s just the Lloydiest. Make fantasy owners despise you all season and then try to bring us back in at the end. That’s how you keep up that whole “overrated for a career” thing you’ve got goin’. You’re not fooling me. Damn you, Brandon Lloyd!

K. Smelser About K. Smelser
Kelly Smelser is Owner/Senior Writer for Punch Drunk Wonderland and PDFantasy Sports. Architect of the PDW fantasy football world and general spinster of NFL and Fantasy Football news and analysis. Long walks on the beach, sunsets, and other such niceties are also fine...